Sunday, May 16, 2010

Virtues: to Tell or Not to Tell?

Just a thought on the art of big-talking. :-)

I went on a date a little while ago and have been thinking a lot about it. The guy was very practiced in the art of Virtue Telling, and I had to agree: his virtues, if true, are the kind that people need to have. Kindness, common sense, good driving skills, hard working, friendly, etc. It didn't impress me, but more annoyed me - like it would have everyone else.

I'm old enough to recognize that many of us (if not all) go through stages in life where we practice this "art." Maybe it stems from insecurity - I've heard that before. Or, maybe it just comes from an over-healthy self-appreciation.

The thing with good attributes is there is no need to discuss them with people, or to tell people we have them. Why? Because, if they are truly important to us, they will come out in how we live our lives. And, if not in the short run, then in the long run. That's the huge thing about human nature: we live what we believe, and it's really hard to put on a long-term act.

Here's another thought: if a person doesn't want to take the time to understand who we really are, then perhaps they aren't worth our time. Does that sound harsh? You tell me.

Who knows, though. Maybe I'm off my rocker. :-)


  1. Yes, I agree with the points you make. We should focus more on showing, instead of telling our virtues.

    Also, I really appreciate your other thought. Thanks.

  2. Sounds like a tool. Bet he was an AP.

  3. Nope, you're right on. Generally speaking, the people who have to tell you how good they are are generally the biggest jerks least in my experience.

  4. Hey Andrea how is the 'virtue telling' actually done? I would have thought that was more for the parents, even though it would cause immediate suspicion except in the most gullible. And yes I think he has approached this all wrong from what I've read. He should be talking about you and your interests then listening, he doesn't really have to say much maybe just occasionally say 'yes I feel the same' so you'll think you are soul mates as he understands things just like you. And if you look like your mind is wandering, thinking of food or something, he can just say your name, which re-focus's your attention according to the books. Yep lots of things he could have done better I would think.
    Mark Parker