Thursday, July 15, 2010

Needing Feedback on My Ad

Okay, so I wanted to tweet/post the actual ad, but realized the info it contains is a bit too much to be sending out all across the internet. :-)

This is soooo silly of me. I know it is. :-) But, I need some of my writer friends to give me critiques/feedback on an ad I've placed for private musical lessons.

Here's how the ad looks:

Violin, Viola, or Piano Lessons

Willing to travel to your home if transportation is a problem. Family discounts available.

Orchestra director of largest elementary orchestra program in *nearby* School District.

10+ years experience teaching piano, violin, and viola to beginner-intermediate level students.

Have played viola and piano for 18 years.

Received high marks both regionally and state-wide for solos, quartets, and small ensemble pieces.

Suzuki trained, but will use any method that works for you or your child.

$15.00 – ½ hour lesson
$20.00 – 45 min lesson
$25.00 – hour lesson
(Add $5 to the above prices if I travel to you)

I look forward to helping you or your child explore the wonders of music! Call me if you have questions.

(End ad)

Now, here are my questions:

What is your first reaction?
Is there anything in it I should tweak? (Grammar, style, etc.)
Is there anything that is blatantly annoying?
What should I change that first sentence to say? I couldn't find anything that would get attention... So, any suggestions are appreciated. :-)

I'm given the opportunity to re-post the ad in 14 days and will change accordingly. :-)

Tanks! :-)


  1. What has worked the best for me is getting business cards or mini-flyers out to all the local music stores. My posters haven't generated much, if anything. With my cards, I direct them to my music website ( where I put more detail and sound files. I also try out instruments at the various stores so that the employees there can hear me and think of me when someone asks them about lessons.

    Also, don't be afraid to post any degrees or certifications you have. People look at those things first.

    I feel for your situation. It's almost as hard to advertise music lessons as it is a book. Word-of-mouth still works best.

  2. I'd hire you! Especially love the picture - you look clean cut, kind, and also like you have a sense of humour.

  3. First response: I wonder if she lives close by.

    I'd sign my daughter up for piano.
    Great ad! No changes. This is the best I've ever seen. Just saying. :)

  4. I would beef up your 'hook' more; something like this: "Violin, Viola, or Piano Lessons - Open your or your child's ears to the wonders of music, learn how to play compositions of great artists like Bach, Mozart, blah blah, and discover a new talent!" Make someone reading the ad a little more excited about what you have to offer before giving the details!