Monday, December 12, 2011

Can Guys and Girls Just Be Friends?

Okay, I need you to do something before reading more (or even watching the movie). Answer the poll to the right of this post. "Can Guys and Girls Just Be Friends?" I know it's hard to see (it won't let me change the colors), but the first option is "Yes," and the second is "No."

Have you voted? No? Come on, you know you want to do it. :-)

Now have you voted? Yes? Okay. We go on. :-)

Watch this video (it's not long). Then come back and discuss. :-)

Do you believe it's possible for guys and girls to be friends? What was your answer? What experiences have you had where this is concerned?

My answer was "No." My dad made sure to teach me at a young age that it's impossible for guys and girls to be friends without one being interested in the other, and subsequently being hurt.

While I was on a mission for my church (LDS), I got in a discussion with other missionaries about this. All of the guys said, "No," and all of the girls, minus myself and my companion, said, "Yes." I'm not sure if it's possible for many girls truly to understand how it works until they experience it. Either they'll be dying for a guy friend to ask them out and he never does, or he's waiting for a sign from her that she's romantically interested in him.

And one of my favorite music videos from Steven Sharp Nelson (and when he and Jon Schmidt go extremely big, I'll be able to say I've met both of them a million and a half times. I doubt they remember me. Ha ha. :-)):


  1. I am so with you. I don't think it works. It just doesn't to just be friends. I've tried and failed more than once (pre-marriage). Now I don't try. I can be friendly and nice, but close friendship? Reserved for my hubs. :)

  2. Men and women can be just friends. I have had several guy friends before and after marriage were there was no other interest than just friendship.

  3. I absolutely think men and woman can be friends. I can think of several situations that can prove this in my own life. I liked my first girlfriend obviously but then she dumped me and I eventually moved on. We're still friends fifteen years later with no lingering feelings.
    My bestfriend's wife and I hang out at times and neither of us are attracted to each other. My wife has female friends that I'm close with with no attraction.
    The video, I feel, is slanted a bit in that they interview attractive college aged people who will obviously attract others. Get a group of people who aren't as attractive or who have moved beyond "the hunt" and you'll find people who will have no problem just being friends.
    And a secondary thought I have... why can't you be interested in a member of the opposite sex and still be just friends? You're not friends if you're attracted to them? I can't say I agree with that. There's been plenty of people that I have been attracted to but didn't want to be anything other than just friends.